Controlling Emotions? It’s Easy and So Beneficial!
Is “Controlling Emotions” hard to do?
It’s actually not that hard!
When people find things hard to do, there are two main reasons. One is that it IS a hard task and takes time to gain skills and is an effort to master. Two is that it’s actually not hard to do, but you’re unfamiliar with it or not used to doing it, so it seems challenging. Controlling emotions falls into the second one. It’s easy but it seems difficult because it’s not a familiar task. Also doing it the wrong way, not having the correct knowledge, or not understanding the benefits of emotional control can contribute to this misconception.
So, let me explain how emotional control is not as difficult as it may seem.
Do you know pole dancing? I always find it impressive, but I’ve never done it. If someone asks me to be on stage and perform pole dancing tomorrow, it will be a disaster for sure. It takes time and effort to build the necessary muscles and learn all the techniques. So, this falls into the first category of difficulty — it’s actually challenging and takes time to master.
But emotional control is not pole dancing. It’s more like waking up early in the morning. Even if you’re not a morning person, you can wake up early for important reasons like catching an early flight, or the chance to buy a concert ticket for your favorite artist online, or making it to a crucial business negotiation. You may not like how it feels to wake up early, but you can still do it.
Just like that, emotional control is easy,
and anyone can do it from this very moment with enough reasons and motivation.
And that’s because emotions are quite simple, changeable, and easily manipulated. For example, imagine that you’ve lost a 10 dollar bill. You’d probably feel sad, thinking that things aren’t going well. But what if you receive news that you’ve just won 1000 dollars in a lottery right then? Your emotions would shift from dark to bright and cheerful, right? And this change happens in a second, and that’s how easily our emotions can shift. Knowing this, controlling your emotions becomes a lot simpler.
Now, understanding the benefits of emotional control and the drawbacks of not doing it is key because it encourages you to act on it. And the benefits are amazing. For example, if you intentionally and continuously choose to feel happy through emotional control it will make you feel happy for a longer period of time, of course. As you continue to pay attention to happy stuff in your environment, your consciousness starts being drawn to the more happy aspects in your environment and daily living. This is caused by our brain function called the reticular activating system or RAS. This brain function filters and selects our information depending on what our attention is focused on and then automatically presents related information to us.
Let’s say you’ve just bought a car that you love and you’re totally raving on it and thinking a lot about it. Then you suddenly start to notice more of the same model as yours on the road. Or after coming back from a trip to a place that isn’t very well known, you start seeing the place featured on TV, in magazines, in people’s conversations, and so on. This is how our brain automatically shows us more of what’s on our mind.
So, as you control your emotions towards positive experiences, you become more likely to notice and attract positive things in your life, as well. When emotional control becomes a habit, then it will shift your perception of your world. Then things in your environment will start to look different, or things may actually change. This is the fascinating part of this process.
And remember, we are energy beings, and everything else is also an energy being.
When everything aligns energetically, interesting transformations happen!
This is also called the “law of attraction.” It means that the emotions you’re feeling inside you resonate with your experience as if you’re pulling reality that’s matching your emotions. So, controlling your emotions in the direction you desire creates the life you desire. Of course, making emotional control a habit requires repetition, just like how waking up early becomes a routine after doing so for a while, but it’s not pole dancing, anyone can wake up early with enough motivation.
Well, now you might wonder, “How do I actually control my emotions?” When you have a strong emotion like anger or hatred, you may feel trapped in the emotion and it is impossible to get out of that state. Sometimes we get stuck in negative emotions for hours, or even an entire day, and in some cases, for days and weeks or even longer. You might believe your emotions won’t change unless the person causing the emotions apologizes or changes, or unless that person is no longer in your life. It’s common to think that your emotions are caused by others. However, this is very important:
“Your emotions belong to YOU.”
As it says Your emotions, it’s YOURS. They came out of you. The other person is just the trigger for those emotions. It could’ve been anyone else, at a different time, or under different circumstances, and the same emotions would’ve come out. So, your emotions are hidden within you and waiting for a trigger to come out of you.
Remember the last blog? If not, please read it. Our bodies are like devices, and our consciousness is like an unlimited storage space. A variety of data, such as emotions, thoughts, behavior patterns, memories, and so much are stored within us. Now, again, visualize your emotions as part of this data.
When our emotions pop out of our system, that’s like when data gets displayed on the device. Well, what do we do with the data displayed on the screen? We pay attention! But what do we tend to do when our emotions pop out? We ignore the emotions and pay attention to the environment to find people or things to blame, don’t we?
Here, the first step in mindfulness and emotional control is to pay attention to the emotions when they arise. It’s simple and anyone can do it. I wrote about essential points in this blog. Knowing the technique alone won’t bring about change because action is necessary. Please remember:
(1) Emotional control comes with life-changing benefits
(2) Emotions are simple and controllable
(3) Your emotions are “YOURS”
In the next blog, I will write about actual ways to control emotions and how it works!
